Educational Documentaries
by MuraSaturn
Summary: Never again will Bakura take the time to watch a documentary with Ryou, Marik, and Mariku. Even if the two hikaris have to watch it for school.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh(Which is probably a good thing).  
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"Crap." Bakura said as he lazily changed the channel. "Over 1000 channels, and they're all complete crap." Ryou rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, as if he was trying to get on his yami's nerves.

"Then can I please watch something then? I have to watch this program for my assignment."

"Fine, do whatever you want with it." Bakura replied as he handed the remote to Ryou, only to yank it away from him.

"Give it!"

"You have to reach it first!" he smirked. To his surprise, Ryou tackled him to the carpeted floor.

"Come on Bakura!" he said attempting to pin his yami down, "I need to watch it for school!"

"But you're not even trying hard enough." He replied. The apartment door slowly creaked open to reveal Marik and his yami.

"Hey Ryou, are you home?" Marik said as he took a step inside, "I wanted to know if-" he stopped in mid sentence as he saw the two wrestling on the floor for the remote.

"So you guys finally gave into the sexual tension huh?" Mariku chuckled.

"Piss off!" Bakura growled.

"Um." Marik started, "Is this a bad time? Because we could come back later."

"No, it's fine." Ryou said as he sat up. "Bakura was being a jerk and wouldn't hand the remote over." Marik's eyes widened.

"We didn't miss the show, did we?" Ryou checked his watch,

"Nope, we still have a couple of minutes left until it comes on." He quickly snatched the remote away from his yami.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, but I told you I have to watch this for school, you can have it back when I'm done." He turned to Marik, "You want to stay and watch it with me?" he asked.

"Sure, that's why I came over here in the first place."

"Hikari?" Mariku interrupted, "What is this program about anyway?" Both of the hikari's

faces turned crimson.

"Um…well…" Ryou muttered, clearly wanting to talk about anything but this.

Marik spoke up, "We'd rather not say."

"This only makes me more curious." Bakura smirked. "So Mariku, should we watch it with them?" A smirk also crept upon Mariku's face,

"What kind of yamis would we be if we didn't?"

"Whatever." Marik said as sat down on the couch. Ryou selected the channel and then joined him.

"Let' just get this over with." Ryou sighed. Mariku and Bakura exchanged glances as they went to sit down in front of the couch. What could this program possibly contain that made their hikari's so flustered.

"_Now what exactly could be so terrifying that it makes men run in fear?" _Then the thought finally hit him. _"Frick." _ He turned to Mariku. "We got to get out of here before it starts!"

"Why? It can't be that bad compared to the stuff we're used to." Bakura grabbed the collar of Mariku's shirt.

"You idiot! I know what it is and-"

"Shut up Bakura, I'm trying to hear!" Marik yelled. Bakura and Mariku slowly turned their heads to the television screen,

"Hello, welcome to today's show!" The woman on the television show smiled. "Today, we're going to talk about the miracle of childbirth!" Mariku looked at the screen puzzled and Bakura facepalmed,

"I hate my life." He muttered.

[Author's Note: Thanks for reading this chapter, the second one will be coming out soon!]


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.**

"_Why?_ Bakura thought. _"Why the heck did I actually volunteer to watch this horrible documentary? Have I gone mad?" _He reached for his drink, hoping that it would calm his nerves.

"Bakura, what is childbirth? Mariku asked with child-like wonder. Bakura nearly did a spit take at the spiky-haired teen's question, but the liquid went down the wrong pipe.

"You can't be serious!" he coughed.

"I'm dead serious, now spill it."

"_Quick!" _Bakura thought. _"Think of the most realistic story you can think of."_ He smirked. "So you really wanna know?" Mariku nodded. "Well you know the poor sap that rides around the neighborhood in his colorful van? The one that gives frozen treats to children?

"The Ice Cream Man?" Mariku answered.

"Yes. Ice Cream Man, Frozen Dessert Fairy, or whatever the heck you prefer to call him. Anyway, you know how there's a freezer in the back of the van? Ice cream isn't the only thing in that van, cryogenically frozen infants are back there too. Waiting for the day when a couple will pick them up and raise them as their own.

"If that's the case, then how come you always see the mother in a hospital bed afterwards?"

"Infants are always dangerous creatures after being thawed out. An attack from one can land you in the hospital if you're not careful."

"But they're always in hospitals!"

"No one's really careful these days as you can see. Does that answer your question?"

"Uh-huh, this documentary thing is going to be awesome!"

"Yeah…sure." He sighed. He looked over to the hikari's. It seems that they were doing pretty well, but then again, it hasn't gotten to the actual birth yet. Just the stages prior. _"Now's my chance."_ Since Mariku had his eyes glued to the screen waiting to see an Ice Cream Man, and the hikari's were too busy trying to learn, Bakura decided to do what any sensible person would do. Get the heck out of there. He slowly scooted away from Mariku and crawled behind the couch. From the couch, he decided that he would stay on all fours until he got to the door. That way, no one would be able to spot him as easily. As he got to the door, Bakura could have sworn that he heard angels singing in the background. _"Finally!" _he thought as he managed to get a grip on the doorknob. _"Sweet, sweet escape is mine!"_

"Bakura?"

"…_or not."_

"Where are you going?" Ryou asked.

"Anywhere but here. I am not going to watch this disgusting excuse of a program."

"But this disgusting excuse of a program is apart of life! You're going to have to come face to face with it at some point of life whether you like it or not."

"I seriously doubt it hikari." Bakura said as he twisted to doorknob.

"I take it that the great thief king is afraid of a common medical procedure, am I right?" Bakura stopped in his tracks,

"What? Don't be absurd, I just want to spare myself of the appalling details!"

"I think you're just scared." Ryou chuckled; he wasn't used to seeing his yami so flustered like this.

"I'm not!"

"Then prove me wrong and watch the documentary, I think it's going to end in awhile anyway."

"…fine." He groaned.

"Good!" Ryou smiled. _"It always works!"_

Bakura sulked back to his spot and sighed, _"Why does that always work?" he thought. _Oh well, at least the stupid thing was almost over. _"Is it me, or was this show a bit too short? Maybe it was one of those fifteen minute segments or something." _His thoughts were cut short when he heard the woman onscreen screaming.

"Hey! There is no way that there's an ice cream truck here!" Mariku yelled.

"What are you talking about?" Marik asked.

"Bakura said that babies came from ice cream trucks!" Marik glared at Bakura then looked at his yami.

"Well he lied. If you really want to know, turn around." Mariku did as he told…and quickly wished he hadn't.

"IS THAT AN INFANT IN-"

"Yeah." Marik sighed.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Mariku said as he dashed towards the restroom.

"This is disgusting!" Bakura commented. Ryou winced as the lady let out another scream.

"Is it almost over?" he asked.

"I don't know." Marik replied. "Don't these things last for hours?" The trio groaned.

"WHY WON'T IT END?" Mariku yelled from the bathroom.

-1 Hour Later-

"Alright." The doctor on the screen said. "We just need one more good one then you're done."

"FOR THE LOVE OF RA AND ALL THAT'S HOLY, PUSH WOMAN!" Bakura practically screamed at the television set.

"Are you okay?" Marik asked.

"Marik, I've been watching this 'miracle' for an hour now! No. No I am not okay!" They heard one last scream and then crying.

"It's finally over!" All of them sighed happily.

"Wait!" the woman said. "Why am I still in pain?" They stared at the T.V. Hoping that what they thought was happening wasn't about to turn into a reality.

"Twins!" The doctor exclaimed. Everyone (including the woman onscreen) screamed in horror.

-Few Hours Later.-

"Well that was our program for today; we'll see you next-" Ryou immediately turned off T.V. All three of them sat in silence. Marik finally broke the silence by saying.

"I think the teacher assigned this to us just to torture us."

"Agreed." Ryou added. "Did we ever check on Mariku?" Marik ran into the bathroom and Ryou and Bakura followed. They found Mariku in a corner sobbing in fetal position."

"Are you still alive?" Bakura asked, poking him with a hairbrush.

"There was no Ice Cream Man in there." He sobbed.

"Come on." Marik said as he loaded his yami onto his back. "I have to go schedule the next group therapy meeting."

"Can we do it on a Thursday?" questioned Ryou.

"Sure." And with that said, the yami and hikari were out of the building.

"Ryou?"

"Yes?"

"Sign this." He said as he handed Ryou the paper.

"What is this for?"

"It states that I, Bakura, will never have to watch anything educational with you, Ryou, ever again. Even if it's for your school work."

"Fine, sure." Ryou sighed. After he finished signing, Bakura put on a hat and opened the apartment door. "Where are you going?"

"To go sue a certain channel for emotional distress."

**[A/N: Sorry if for the grammer errors if they're in there -_- I'm still fairly new to this.]**


End file.
